I was listening to an episode of The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes and having a major fan girl moment about guest Carrie-Anne Moss (Trinity from The Matrix DUH!) when she said something that struck me. She recalled as a young girl repeating to herself over and over and over again like a mantra, “You are enough.”
It moved me and I got stuck on how positive and powerful doing something like that could be. I thought about my childhood and if I had done anything similar. There is a small tape from one of those voice recorder toy things of the 90s where I sing a song about how great I am. That’s the one time I can recall saying positive things about myself as a child.
As I got older my self-esteem was torn down more than it was built up. I didn’t take care of myself and reinforce my worth. I isolated or surrounded myself with negative influences that didn’t have the capability to give me the reinforcement I needed. Suddenly my current mindset makes more sense.
It’s too late to go back and save teenage Liz, but how can I get Liz now to a place where she loves herself? In the podcast Moss talks about believing in yourself, being mindful, and disconnecting to be present for the moment. These are things that I have been striving for… and failing fantastically at. I am impatient. I can set structure for myself, but when I am not relatively quickly rewarded for my efforts I get lazy.
If I keep letting myself be lazy this nasty episode will only be extended, so, this week it’s time for a hard reset. I’m asking myself the questions I need to ask: What am I avoiding? How can I break it into steps to make it manageable? What needs to be a priority? What can wait? What can I do to create self love?
To answer that last question, I’m sure it will be a long journey to self love, but I am going to start by spending a few moments a day chanting to myself the words Moss once did for herself: you are enough.