For Poems, Pictures of Cats, Food, and Flowers Follow:
Backwards is Better was formed as a way for me to embrace my fear of failure by celebrating it. It has became a space for me to share my struggles with mental illness and advocate for awareness and education over stigma .
As a teenager I never envisioned a future because I figured I would kill myself before I got to one. Spoiler alert, I didn’t kill myself, but I continued to approach each day as another obstacle. I just needed to get through it. There was a breaking point where I realized I had to start finding reasons to want to live.
I always wanted to write, but was never certain what to write about. Since adolescence I have dealt with bipolar II, depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. I struggled a lot in school and eventually dropped out. I embraced the nontraditional path for a while and slipped into self destructive behavior that only fueled my mental illness. When I reached my breaking point I went back to school. I wanted the structure and the support. I wanted to learn how to be a better writer and a better human in general. I still struggle with my mental illness, but I’m so much stronger now.
My future hope is to collaborate and interview others about their mental health, failures, and fears. (Are you interested?)